when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
