Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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