Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
