Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
