I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
