Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
