i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
