Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She's the barista slut.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
