i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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