Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
