chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
