so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
