I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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