Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
