Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
