You're my little dorito
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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