nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I deserve this hangover.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
