Christians are straight up FREAKS
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
