so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
