Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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