Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
