My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
