So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
