Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
