Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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