It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How does one acquire holy water?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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