he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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