Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
