Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
