oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
one might say we're banned from that church
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
