I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
