I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm at about main and main street
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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