We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
