The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
