Who wears a wallet chain?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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