I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
