Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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