check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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