alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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