...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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