Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
