wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
