She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
