haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
