Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
