i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
