Plan B is the new Plan A
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
