What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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