im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
