I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
