he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
