I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
