Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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