this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is wine microwaveable?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
