So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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