his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
