A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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