what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
