I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize