Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
